my tasty Pie

so they cry
I care not why
of a fry
as small a fly
as they lie
up on their sty
still they cry
loud through the sky
and they pry
deep pits as high
as their thigh
can drag them nigh
down the aye
of their own sigh
to heed lie
they sought with eye
blind with rye
drunk like a guy
aim to vie
his peer with sai
hit not thigh
pierce but a shy
hint of wry
pride he has dye
to his tie
of no end ply
yet they cry
of jokes they nie
they thought mye
off blight of fie
I made wye
to suit my Pie

**rye-The oldest native American whiskey.
**sai-A handheld weapon with three prongs, used in some Oriental martial arts.
**nie-Small particles of hardened steel, martensite crystals , in the habuchi large enough to be seen with the naked eye.
**mye-Antibiotic for people who have an allergy to penicillins.
**wye-A track arrangement with three switches and three legs for reversing the direction of a train.

Care to retell my story in comprehensible words? better if you know what it means to.

We, The Animals Take Control!

Well, this is just a tribute to my favorite band LINKIN PARK. My stories will be pretty general as I don't want to get too specific, some parts of the memories are just not worth public attention. And I'll let the lyrics run the story of my life.

I'll write this using time frames, of which when I was a still a kid up to today. And to all LP fans out there if you guys are feeling me, you rock!

1. Hybrid Theory

This album is pretty sweet and holds a certain childish quality to me, because it holds many of my childhood memories. This album was my walking stick towards teenage life. As a kid, I don't really care much about what is happening outside in the real world. All I care about is having fun, screaming and shouting and learning about changes happening to me as I take baby steps into teenage life.

As a kid, there are lots of things that were kept away from my knowledge. I am sure you too feel the same, And that is why my childhood theme song is RUNAWAY.

I wanted to run away as far as I can from everyone, because I feel that everyone is not being honest with me, and that I should have my freedom to carve my own life.

Graffiti decorations
Underneath a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learned were never true

Now I find myself in question
[They point the finger at me again]
Guilty by association
[You point the finger at me again]

Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true

I wanna run away
Never say good-bye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

Gonna run away 

2. Reanimation

Now this album is a lot more playful as it is a remix of Hybrid Theory. This album represents the new things I found in life after my elementary years. The experimentation of sound effects and music mixes in this album reflects directly to the experimentation I make when I first set foot in junior high. And one memorable song included in the album which I up till today cannot forget is MY DECEMBER.

My first time in a relationship and it ended horribly. I crawled into my blanket and cried like a loser and feed on the sadness of my failed experiment and the sadness of December.

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

This is my December
This is my snow covered home
This is my December
This is me alone

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all I need

And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I
Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I
Take back all the things that I said to you

And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to 

3. Meteora

 The third album, the most fucked up time of my life. Yup, the teenage life. Everything is wrong. Everything is fucked up. Everyone pisses me off right then.. Damn I miss those years. Meteora started to mash in a bit of heavy instruments, an a lot more screaming. Which is perfect, as the time of my teenage years demanded a lot of my patience and energy to cope with pretty much every single shit in the world that I am unhappy with.


Breakups, fights, stupid girls, and backstabbing friends. Yeah, everything mixed in nicely in a bowl of shit call high school. And yeah, not forgetting, self- righteous teachers who don't know shit they're talking about and preached about every piece of shit they can. And the only one I can turn to practically killed me inside out and left me to rot, so much for friendship, friend shit.

Enough said, all these nightmares eventually ate my trust on people and almost turned me into a psychopathic juvenile. Only FAINT can retell the story of my haunted past.

I am
Little bit of loneliness
A little bit of disregard
A handful of complaints
But I can't help the fact
That everyone can see these scars
I am
What I want you to want
What I want you to feel
But it's like
No matter what I do
I can't convince you
To just believe this is real
So I let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here
'Cause you're all I got

I am
A little bit insecure
A little unconfident
'Cause you don't understand
I do what I can
But sometimes I don't make sense
I am
What you never want to say
But I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
For once just to hear me out
So I let go
Watching you
Turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here
'Cause you're all I got

I can't feel
The way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
This damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

No
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me
Like it or not
Right now 

4. Minutes To Midnight

As the album suggest, I've only got minutes before my midnight comes, so I've got to let go of all the hatred. This album helped me a lot to move on from all the sadness from high school. With the songs mainly themed on letting go and moving on, with a more delicate and controlled screaming, it definitely suits the situation on me facing a new world at that time.

As I sort out my priorities, NO MORE SORROWS perfectly pictures my journey. Goodbye to betrayals, I am making my own destiny and walking the world at my own pace.

Are you lost in your lies?
Do you tell yourself I don't realize
Your crusade's a disguise?
Replaced freedom with fear
You trade money for lives
I'm aware of what you've done

No, no more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced

I see pain, I see need
I see liars and fiends
Abuse power with greed
I had hope, I believed
But I'm beginning to think that I've been decieved
You will pay for what you've done

No, no more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced

Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!
Thieves and hypocrites!

No, no more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced

No more sorrow
I've paid for your mistakes
Your time is borrowed
Your time has come to be replaced

Your time has come to be replaced
Your time has come to be erased 

5. A Thousand Suns

 And finally the most recent album, a very political and biblical breakthrough for LP. With all the conflicts all around the world, with war breaking at every continents, LP brings hope and ambitions through this album and delivered it successfully.



Politics, religions, it does not matter which side you are on, all we need is love and tolerance. Enjoy WRETCHES AND KINGS. We, the animals take control! We, the generation that will change this world!

"There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part, and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop. And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all" -Mario Savio

To save face / how low can you go
Talk a lot of game but yet you don't know
Static on the way / make us all say whoa
The people up top push the people down low
Get down
And obey every word
Steady getting mine if you haven't yet heard
Wanna take what I got
Don't be absurd
Don't fight the power
Nobody gets hurt
If you haven't heard yet then I'm letting you know
There ain't shit we don't run when the guns unload
And no one make a move unless my people say so
Got everything outta control
Now everybody go

Steel unload / final blow
We the animals / take control
Hear us now / clear and true
Wretches and kings we come for you

So keep pace / how slow can you go
Talk a lot of shit and yet you don't know
Fire on the way / make you all say whoa
The people up top and the people down low
Get down
And I'm running it like that
The front of the attack is exactly where I'm at
Somewhere in between
The kick and the hi hat
The pen and the contract
The pitch and the contact
So get with the combat / I'm letting 'em know
There ain't shit you can say to make me back down no
So / push the button let the whole thing blow
Spinning everything outta control
Now everybody go

Steel unload / final blow
We the animals / take control
Hear us now / clear and true
Wretches and kings we come for you
Steel unload / fire blow
Filthy animals / beat them low
Skin and bone / black and blue
No more this sun shall beat onto you

From the front to the back and the side to side
If you fear what I feel put 'em up real high

Well, that's about it. LP for life, you feel me?

Dating 101: The Race For Girlfriends

So do you need one? Or do you want one?

Well, probably, you aren't even able to choose which one is the right reason for your desire to have a girlfriend, and whether your ramming the boat or just flying the kite, so lets just dig it deeper, shall we?

Sometimes, guys get into relationships for the wrong reasons. I guess you could say that this is all part of growing up and experiencing the flaws of life through your own eyes. But hey, I just want to share a bit of food for thoughts.

Fact is, my self confidence and self- esteem is so high that I don't need a partner to create happiness. Let me tell you this, my life is a chocolate bar and if any fine ladies that so chooses to join me, they would be the cookie crumbs or hazel nut that add taste to my already finger licking good bar.

What I'm trying to say here is that, we guys should never feel the 'need' to have a girlfriend, we should 'choose' to have a girlfriend. In my case, its pretty clear that I do not need one, and that I will gladly accept any Mary or Jane that so happened to fit me like a glove when the time comes.

But lets analyze the situation per say I need one. Well then, the most obvious question here is to ask why do I need one? Do I need someone to love me so that I can be happy? Or do I need one so that I won't be far off where my friends are, since all of them have girlfriends?

Let say you need one because you want to feel happy, feel pampered. There's a clear indication here that this will not be reciprocal, because you are desperate to be loved. But not if you yourself are already happy, this feeling will then be mutual, because you want to love somebody, and in return, you will receive the love back.

And let say if it is purely peer pressure. But then again, do we need to get into this? Haven't we had enough of this peer pressure talk back in high school?

To make it a lot more convincing, girls can detect the smell of desperation. From the way you talk, to the way you place your hands on her. Watch predator much? Yeah, now you are one. So it is no surprise that girls will run from you(if you're trying to get one) and dump you(if you are already in a relationship and the smell finally become apparent).

Am I not making this clear enough? You don't need a girlfriend to feel happy, you just need yourself to be happy with what you are doing and what you have. Only then can you truly feel the sweetness of relationships because it does not center around what you need, but instead on what each of you has to offer for the relationship to grow.

So do we really truly need the existence of a female companion to feel happy? Yes, but as red wine to complement steak, not as cement to fill the hole you made when you passed out last night drinking yourself to oblivion.

writing

Writing. what it means. what it meant. and what of it.

writing, to me, is just thinking out loud, lyk speaking, but in form of words, laid down bit by bit, in detail, and in perspective

writing, what it used to be for me, was something that i really enjoy, something that i took pride in, something that made me high in imagination, something that meant the world to me, but has now become such a forgotten language, that i, could not feel any intimate connection with, anymore..

so let me write something now, as to check if i still have the itch, the ink for the pen i've long since put away..

there was a boy, filled with dreams, n hopes, the ambitions he sought, fueled with intense motivation, grew ever so bright, n clear as a glowing gem..

but the gem was broken, into tiny pieces of dust, clotting in a sea of red, blood filled horizon, eerie and dark, and the boy drowned in his own nightmare..

the boy woke up, only to realize, the hopes and dreams he had, was all but a farce put up by what people think he should be.. of what future he should lead..

he followed the path, chained to these directions of where he should go, even with the freedom to choose, the road does not give him the liberty of choice, as he was denied the knowledge, of carving his own destiny..

and so he strayed, into what the void offers, a space of thorns, a place of mourns, with only flickering lights hinting his next destination, and so he drifted along the mold..

*sigh* and that was all that came up..what ever happens to that boy? well that'll have to wait for another time..

24 words story.

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Note: End of first evaluation period.

Break the ongoing quiet time lapse.

Gained the desired goal of achievement.

Enough? Perhaps, but might not be.

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60kg is not enough

Ok so far, the weight is staying between 61kg to 62kg alternating between the 2lbs...its safe to say that its solid at 132lbs..from 140lbs?! i lost 8lbs?! fuck

Ugh, lost my hard earn weight, just cuz i stopped working out...

Damn, i'm gonna start increasing my weight again, 2lbs a day. next stop, Next Monday---140pounds at least...i hope this works...

now back to stuffing more food inside me, force feed!!!

Mystery Girl Episode 2

Thank you for the book, it was very enlightening, funny and sad at the same time.

Chris reminded me a lot about you. Coming to a strange place. Forced to be someone he's not.

But I hope you too manage to find your way like Chris. I know you have to do what you got to do.

Look at the cover. You are hanging. Waiting for something to change your luck. Well, the clock's ticking but you ain't getting nowhere. Just hold on to it, because you will find your way.

But after all I've said, it doesn't mean that I'm doing fine here thinking about you.

Here's my feelings.

There must've been a reason for our meeting.

What on earth were you thinking about dragging me into this?

Now I can't stop thinking about you. I stopped going there.

The time stopped. Everything stopped.

And I'm stuck waiting for something.

Waiting for you to help me get a closure.

Waiting for me to help you out of this jam.

Waiting for us to end this chapter.

You put me in this loop. Yes I'm pathetic.

But is it a sin for me to dream?

You needed a reason, I'm giving you one.

Stop running, I can help you.

Please, it worries me that you're running around KL with nowhere to go.

Where are you staying? Do you have money to eat?

Are you getting proper baths? Are you safe each night you're sleeping?

Yes, I'm obsessed.

You can't just jump in people's life and drop this and run away.

You've been running too long, stop now, you can start a new life.

Did you remember what we talked about?

About bleeding tears? About doubts and fears?

About paths cross with each other?

Now our paths lay entwined. We can't ignore that.

Wherever you are, please be safe.

You gave me little to care, but it's all I've been caring about.